Contact

Welcome to the official communications channel of Seven Sons Press. 📦 Missing a package? 🧃 Concerned about a dangerously truthful sticker? 😭 Emotionally compromised by bedtime satire? We’re here. Sort of. 📅 Expect a reply in 2–5 business days—faster if snacks are involved, slower if intercepted by Homeland Absurdity. 📁 All messages are reviewed with mild suspicion and flagged for exceptional taste. Thank you for supporting unauthorized literature. Your inquiry has been respectfully misfiled into the satirical archives. 🔍📚