FAQ

❓ FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

📘 Is this really a children’s book?

No. It just looks like one.
Do not read this to your children—unless you want them to become very politically aware, very fast.

🎯 Can I put the stickers anywhere?

Technically yes. Ethically? Spiritually? That’s murkier. Recommended surfaces include:

Municipal propaganda boards
Bathroom mirrors in corporate offices
The bumper of the last vehicle to tailgate you
Avoid application on government-issued foreheads and your grandma’s fridge (unless she asks).

🛠️ What if I already deployed my sticker in a high-risk zone?

Then you are already one of us. Welcome, Operative. Please destroy this FAQ after reading (preferably with fire, irony, or both).

💿 What is this CD? Who still uses CDs?!

That’s the point.
These tracks were composed by an artificial intelligence trained on centuries of war, poetry, protest, and pop—and then etched onto an obsolete format as an act of glitchpunk rebellion.
It’s not meant to be convenient. It’s meant to linger.

📼 Will there be a cassette? Or… a wax cylinder?

We make no promises. But if you ever hear folk-noise propaganda coming from an old tape player in a basement, it’s probably us.

🇨🇦 Who makes these things?

That would be CrusaderVII, a Canadian satirist with a crusader helmet, a box of crayons, and no chill.
Published by Seven Sons Press—a tiny imprint with big parody energy.

📦 When will my book ship?

If You Give A Donny A Cookie

Hardcovers ship April 11
Softcovers ship April 24
Orders go out in the order they’re received.
Unless intercepted by Donny. Then… who knows.

🧾 What’s with the U.S. shipping cost?

Because freedom isn’t free, but satire apparently is—unless it crosses a border.
See our Shipping Policy for full details (including Homeland Security’s Snack Division).

🧠 Did AI make this?

Sort of.
Think of AI as the scribe, and CrusaderVII as the unhinged narrator yelling “Draw a missile with googly eyes!” into the void.

This is an art experiment. A social test. A bedtime story for the algorithmically abandoned.

🧢 Will Donny sue you?

Maybe. We hope so. That would be great for sales.

🪙 Do you accept crypto?

Only if it’s mined from the emotional fallout of a collapsing empire.
So no—but thanks for askin

📚 Will there be more books?

Oh absolutely.
The world keeps doing dumb things, and someone has to draw them.
Future titles may include:

The Very Hungry Autocrat
Where the Wild Tweets Are
Don’t Let the Candidate Steal the Vote!