Who We Are

🛡️ WHO WE ARE

Seven Sons Press is a tiny, unapologetically Canadian publisher run by CrusaderVII—an armored pen-slinger with a taste for satire, a bucket helm full of crayon dust, and a mission to poke fun at collapsing institutions through the lens of picture books.

We post updates, drops, and rogue bedtime dispatches on Bluesky.
No ads. No billionaires. Just stickers and subversion.
📎 @CrusaderVII

We make handcrafted, limited-run children’s books that aren’t for children—weaponized with political parody and printed in full colour for maximum irony. Our stories are short, sharp, and occasionally unhinged. Each one is a bedtime story for a world on fire.

🔥 WHAT WE BELIEVE

• Satire is a survival mechanism

• AI is just the messenger—we’re the chaos conduit

• Books can be funny and terrifying

• If you’re not offending the right people, you’re doing it wrong

• Obsolete media is the perfect delivery system for modern nonsense

We don’t have investors, algorithms, or an HR department.
Just a knight, a crayon, and a dream.

🎭 OTHER WORKS & AUDIO EXPERIMENTS

👉🎶 Udio 🎶👈
Because some stories are better screamed over a banjo—and some are better stuck to a billionaire’s briefcase.

CrusaderVII doesn’t just make picture books for collapsing democracies—there’s a growing body of sound-driven satire and tangible artifacts too.

From dystopian lullabies and AI-generated protest anthems, to vinyl-ready albums burned onto CDs (and maybe one day... wax cylinders), our releases are media relics from timelines that shouldn’t exist.

We print ideas you can weaponize at the bus stop.
Visual sabotage, now in peel-and-stick format.
Each sticker is a micro-manifesto—QR-coded, mission-coded, and ready for field deployment on laptops, lampposts, or low-ranking officials.