Shipping

📦 SHIPPING

All orders deploy from the Great Northern Bureau Outpost (Calgary, Canada). Rates are calculated using ancient postal algorithms, bureaucratic whimsy, and the average weight of a hardcover book + classified adhesives (stickers).

🐮🍪 Local Pickup (Calgary) – FREE

No tariffs. No stamps. Just a mildly chaotic hand-off somewhere in the wilds of Calgary.
Bring good vibes. Maybe gloves. The weather changes faster than Donny’s story under oath.

🇨🇦 Canada – Our Own Backyard

🍁 Standard Dispatch – $6.99 CAD (Untracked)
Delivered via sleepy moose and mildly judgmental postal clerks.
No tracking, but full of good intentions and passive-aggressive efficiency.

📦 Tracked Dispatch – $12.99 CAD (Tracked)
Includes a tracking number, civil updates, and packaging certified by the Ministry of Moderate Urgency™.
Ideal for bundles, books, and suspiciously well-behaved propaganda.

🇺🇸 United States – Our Loudest Neighbour

🍪 Freedom Packet – $9.99 CAD (Untracked)+ $0.47 CAD Freedom Tariff™ per item
Untracked and uninsured. Smuggled in a diplomatic pouch labeled Totally Not Subversive Material™.
Expect delays, eyebrow raises, and residual maple.

🗽 Patriot Verified Shipping – $17.76 CAD (Tracked)+ $0.47 CAD Freedom Tariff™ per item
Tracked by satellite. Insured by NAFTA nostalgia.
Every package grilled for freedom, then released with a salute.
Perfect for hardcover subversions and sticker-based disturbances.

🌍 International – The Rest of the Reasonable World

📮 Diplomatic Pouch – $8.99 CAD (Untracked)
Slim, subtle, and just suspicious enough to cause minor customs concern.
Delivered by a loosely affiliated network of underfunded postal alliances. No tracking. Only hope.

🛰️ Global Surveillance-Class Shipping – $18.99 CAD (Tracked)
Tracked from departure to doorstep by retired Cold War satellites and reluctant international consensus.
For when you need your revolution... with receipts.

🧁 Shipping Timeline

If You Give A Donny A Cookie

Hardcover copies ship April 11
Softcover copies ship April 24
Orders are shipped in the order they're received. First come, first laughed.